So, I had a doctors appointment this week. Thought I better get a check up even though my 50 year 50,000 mile warranty has already run out.
I went to my family practice doc. The same one that we have gone to for the last 27 years. I just love him. He reminds me of Gomer Pyle. I did quit going to him for the "lady" check up cause everytime he lifted up the sheet he would holler "Surprise! Surprise! Surprise!" I really got uncomfortable when he was doing the breast exam and he shouted "Shazam!" That's when I decided I should probably find a Dr. that reminded me more of Aunt Bea.
So anyway, I was just there to have him take a look at my bum knee and have some blood work done and what not. So I go in and put on the gown that leaves the backside in a very vulnerable state and hop up on the table. In walks my doc and smiles real big and blesses my heart. He always blesses my heart. He blesses every bodies heart. He is just a heart blesser. As we chat about this and that he asks me what I think about the new tile. I mention that I haven't been in for quite some time so I really don't remember what it looked like before. He then describes the brown carpet that previously covered the floor of the exam rooms and as a visual he opens the door.....wide open....so I can see the brown carpet that still covers the hall and the entire nurses station and anyone else that happens by can see my exposed hind end. Yep...that's my Dr.
As we progress he begins asking all the routine questions. Do you smoke? Do you have any heart palpitations? Do my bowels move regularly? Then a page comes on the overhead. "Dr. Pyle, Dr. Fife on line one. Dr. Pyle, Dr. Fife on line one." To which he looks at me and somberly says, "Excuse me, I have to take that." Of course I want him to take it. For goodness sake, Dr. Fife may be calling for a very important medical consult for a very sick old lady and I would not want to delay her treatment. Now, Dr. Pyle talks VERY LOUDLY so I can hear his side of the conversation. It went a just like this:
"Hey Barn, how ya doin'?"
"Good, good. Glad to hear it."
"The Chicago Symphony? I love the Symphony. When did you say? Saturday. Yes I would love the tickets."
"That's too bad. I am sorry you can't use them, and thank you for thinking of me. I am sure we will have a wonderful evening"
"No, no I don't work tomorrow. I work on Friday."
"OK, great, just drop them off on Friday. Thanks again and tell Thelma Lou I said Hey."
He comes backs into the room and with a serious face and a furrowed brow resumes the questioning. Yep, that's my doc. I love him.
So after all the questions and the pokes, prods and peeks he decides I should probably have that knee x-rayed. So off I go to the x-ray room. But first I have to insist on a second gown that would cover the back side. I know the nurses and that man with a mole has already seen it, but I have some pride.
As it turns out, the knee looks fine and if I continue to have trouble I may have to see Dr. Otis Campbell. Golly! I hope he is as nice as Doc Pyle. And just wait until I tell you about my dentist!!
18 hours ago