March 01, 2010

Grocery Shopping Brings Out the Worst In Me

Before you go any further, please don't think me as cold-hearted and uncaring. Don't call me insensitive. Just hear the frustration in my voice for what it is.

I am of the firm belief that there should be some type of rules for grocery shopping. I think that you should have to show a current check stub or an employee badge of some sort in order to prove that you have no other time to shop to be allowed in the grocery between the hours of 4:00 and 6:30 p.m.

I believe that if you are retired, you can turn the DVR on and record the current showing of Deal or No Deal to be watched later in the day. There is no need for someone who has ALL STINKING DAY to grocery shop to be in the mix during peak hours. I mean come on Elmer and Avis Oldfolks, if you need to study the saltine boxes that long, you need to get an earlier start. Just grab a box and get on with it for crying out loud. I understand that on nice days that Elmer and Avis just need some fresh air. But don't you think the air is fresher at say 1:30?

I believe if the only form of mobility you have at your disposal is a little rascal, you MUST obey the rules of road at all times. Riding in a motorized shopping cart does not give you license to barrel up the produce aisle at break neck speed chasing all of rest of us out of the way just so you can have your pick of the apples and mangoes.

I only have one thing to say to those who have a passel of kids.....GET A BABY SITTER! For real, if you have 5 kids under the age of 4 and are wearing pink sweat pants that you obviously purchased prior to birthin' all them babies, then you can either come first thing in the morning before boredom and over-stimulation has set in. Or you can get a baby sitter. I can get you some names if you need them. I really don't want to purchase a bag of chips after Penny the Pooper has carried them through out the store while whining "Mooooooommmmmm....I neeeeeeddddd theeeeeesssse." Only to have you put them back on the shelf just before you head to the check out.

Now I am fully aware that there are circumstances that may require those who are not at work the previous 8 hours to have to be shopping during prime time. I was blessed to see the cute little old man in the race cart being helped by what very well may have been his grand-daughter. I admired her security as she shouted to her hard of hearing friend the multiple varieties of frozen vegetables. I panicked with her as the driver of said race cart announced "I THINK THIS THING IS RUNNING OUT OF GAS....IT IS GETTING SLOWER."

So, please forgive me. I am not usually this irritable. But I just took 2 and one half hours of my life to complete what should have been a 45 minute trip to the Piggly Wiggly. I didn't even get a good look at ice cream because there was a mob of preschoolers climbing in the freezer case while the moms discussed why Oprah can't keep the weight off.

Next trip I think I will try to get in at 5:oo A.m. on my way In to work and see how that works.

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